Relationships are a subtle matter. And we consider some of their natural sign, although they are fraught with danger. Business Insider has compiled a list of the six most dangerous habits that we take lightly on. When it comes to relationships, we often find ourselves unprepared for them. Much of the problem is that we are okay with certain habits that eat away at mutual affection.
Here are six signs of an unhealthy relationship. They are familiar but fraught with danger.
1. The game “Who screwed up harder.”
What is it? Partners remember past mistakes to each other and keep virtual scores. If the couple cannot move to the next stage, the relationship becomes an endless game of “Who screwed up the most.” Such a relationship becomes a real torment.
Why is that bad? Scoring and constantly remembering past mistakes leads to dissatisfaction and attempts to make the partner more guilty instead of solving it.
What to do. Stop recalling your partner’s past mistakes. Forget scoring. It doesn’t matter if a partner failed three years ago. Each person is the sum of past actions, so accept him as he is.
Read also: 10 Proven Ways To Cheer Yourself Up
2. Hinting and passive aggression
What is it? Instead of openly talking about their desires and problems, the partner pushes you towards the desired solution and secretly takes revenge on you.
Why is that bad? This shows that you are closed when communicating with your partner. There is no excuse for passive-aggressive behavior that creates insecurity and a false sense of security.
What to do. Be open about your problems and desires. And you will understand that your partner will support you.
3. Emotional blackmail
What is it? One of the partners, complaining about the other’s behavior, threatens to break off the relationship. Instead of saying, “I think you are indifferent to me,” such people say, “I cannot date a person who does not show any feelings for me.”
Why is that bad? This is emotional blackmail and creates a ton of unnecessary problems. Every little quarrel swells to the size of an elephant. It is important for partners to feel that they can voice their dissatisfaction without compromising the relationship itself. Otherwise, people suppress their feelings, which leads to distrust and manipulation.
What to do. It’s great to worry about relationship problems. This means that you are a normal person. But it is important to understand that attachment to a person and love are two different things. Partners who can calmly discuss issues without blackmail and reproach strengthen the relationship.
4. Blaming your partner for your own feelings
What is it? Let’s say you had a lousy day. The only thing you want is to return home as soon as possible. At such moments, it is important not to take out your bad mood on your partner. It’s not his fault that things are so bad.
Why is that bad? Blaming your partner for your own negative emotions is a subtle form of selfishness and a classic example of the inability to separate the personal from the general. When you blame your partner for your own bad feelings, you are setting a precedent: Now, you and your partner will have associations between the bad mood and the other half’s actions, although they are not connected in any way. The life of one of the partners begins to revolve around the mood of the other.
What to do about it. Take responsibility for your emotions. Remember, when people feel guilty, it gives them an incentive to hide their feelings and manipulate each other.
5. Unhealthy jealousy
What is it? It annoys you that your partner communicates a lot with another person. You become suspicious and try to control your partner’s social circle: check his phone, mail, social networks.
Why is that bad? Some people think that not being jealous is a sign of indifference. But in reality, the jealous person creates a huge problem. He humiliates a partner, destroys trusting relationships.
What to do. Trust your partner. It’s trite, but there is no other way. It’s natural to be a little jealous. But don’t go overboard. Don’t humiliate your partner. You have to deal with bouts of jealousy.
Also read: 30 Tips To Help You Recover From a Burnout
6. Shopping and gifts as a solution to problems
What is it? After a major quarrel, many couples do not understand the problems but resort to shopping or expensive gifts.
Why is that bad? This not only pushes relationship problems into the background but also brings commercialism. What will happen if the guy, after every offense, takes the girl to a restaurant? This will give her an incentive to blame her partner constantly. The result is an irresponsible relationship, a constantly offended girl, and a guy who feels like an ATM.
What to do. Solve relationship problems. Trust has been eroded? Talk about it. Does anyone feel underestimated? Listen to your partner; take action. Make contact. Gifts cannot restore trust and a healthy atmosphere. Give gifts not because everything is bad, but because everything is good. Do not cover up your problems with them.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker