Some people spoil the lives of those around them for fun and profit. Learn how to avoid falling into their trap.
Who is an energy vampire?
Modern vampires have nothing to do with mysticism. This is a characteristic of people trying to use your emotions for their own good. Their methods are well thought out, and therefore the energy vampire is not so easy to spot.
The most charming person who gives you positive emotions can take them a hundredfold.
Rational advice is often not perceived by such people. They also constantly criticize everything, devalue our achievements, do not respect other people’s boundaries.
Read also: How To Respond To Harsh Criticism: The Steve Jobs Method
How to recognize an energy vampire
There are several signs by which an energy vampire can be recognized in advance. Do not give up a friendship with a person if you notice one item from this list in his behavior. But if more than three points coincide, then this is a reason to be wary and take a closer look at your comrade.
1. Seeks pity
One of the clear signs and a dangerous trap we easily fall into the net of the energy vampire when we do him a favor. After an act of mercy, we feel like heroes, saviors; we feel a surge of pride. Behind these positive emotions, we do not notice how much attention has been paid to a person, his complaints have begun to cross all reasonable boundaries, and the demands to be sorry have become more persistent and dangerous.
2. Considers everyone around him to blame for his troubles
Vampires are always surrounded by solid villains; a cruel mother, a grumpy wife, a mercantile mistress, stupid children, and a tyrant boss. For these people, everyone around is to blame for their troubles, except for themselves.
Any inaccurate word, and you already become the enemy. The vampire constantly creates feelings of guilt in friends and interlocutors. If you only feel guilty about the memory of a person, then you have a vampire.
A social contract is an exchange of resources between people. When a person revels in self-pity instead of asking for a raise or quitting, they want to be listened to. Such interaction can be convenient for both parties.
Elizaveta Efremova, psychologist, expert of the Russian School of Management on personal effectiveness
3. Provokes quarrels and fights
Negative attention is also attention. An energetic vampire enjoys using this rule in life. To provoke quarrels, to be emotionally offended, to wave fists at the slightest pretext is about him.
4. Likes to weave intrigues
The vampire is especially pleased with gossip and quarrels in any team. Rubbing into everyon’severyone’s trust, he subtly senses weak points and pulls strings so that the maximum number of people quarrels over the most dramatic reasons.
Manipulating the resentment of some and seeking pity from others, a vampire is able to spoil relations even in a friendly company.
5. Strikes at the most unexpected moment
The exchange of energy does not occur instantlyl the energy vampire feeds on it during complaints, attention, quarrels, which he skillfully directed. But some situations will help such a person to get enough of a sense of their own superiority for a long time. The less you wait for a trick, the stronger your frustration and energy exchange will be.
6. Goes to extremes
An indirect sign by which it is easy to recognize an energy vampire; he is prone to extremes. Such people are engaged in extreme sports, get married on the second day after meeting, and break ties with loved ones after a tiny quarrel because they lack their own emotions.
Also read: How To Stay Calm In Any Conflict
How to protect yourself from an energy vampire
The first step is to recognize it. But there are a few more tips that will not save you from virtuoso vampirism but will save your nerves and strength, even if you are already caught:
- Learn to say no. Gently refuse to do what you don’t like if you find it difficult to fulfill.
- Defend boundaries. You are an accomplished adult. No one can tell you that you have done something wrong or that you have a bad temper.
- Track intense emotional outbursts. Even joyful ones. In the early stages, vampires feed your positive experiences to get you attached. This is how they shatter your emotional swing.
- Don’t trust gossip. Well-concocted rumors sound quite plausible but think about why the person is telling you all this and how he will benefit from your quarrel with the object of gossip.
- Rely only on yourself. Getting help and support from loved ones is priceless. But it’s always worth having a backup plan if your friend isn’t who he claims to be.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker