How to end a relationship with a loved one with dignity and ease.
Even after years of marriage, separation is not uncommon these days. In Europe, the UK is the leading country in terms of the number of divorces. There, about 34% of couples get divorced before the 20th anniversary of marriage. British lawyers have even dubbed the first working day of January “divorce day,” as their fellow citizens often postpone family problems until the end of the holidays.
During holidays, couples decide to reconsider their relationship and reflect on their need. A difficult period is the New Year holidays, especially for those who do not get along with their second half’s relatives.
Regardless of the reason, any breakup is a difficult situation that leaves its mark on a person. If you decide to end your relationship, listen to advice that will help you both get through this event.
Choose the right moment.
In general, there is no right time for such a radical change. There will always be a feeling of loss, regret about the past and present, and numerous accusations. If the partner is unaware of the other’s decision to leave, then the sudden news will deal a big blow to his psyche and self-esteem.
Try to choose the best time to communicate your desire to disperse so that the other has time to reflect on what happened.
Make sure there are no anniversaries, family gatherings, holidays, or if you have children, important school events during this period. Think ahead and write down what you want to say.
Talk to a specialist.
Even at such a late stage in the relationship, you can seek help from an experienced, qualified psychologist. He can tell you how to end the relationship on a friendly note, without harboring anger and resentment at each other.
And by going to a specialist together, you can hear each of your point of view. You may find it easier to do this in the presence of a third party. A psychologist will help you look at the situation from the outside and accept the future without this relationship.
Try to be generous
Surely you will have a lot of disputes about the division of joint property. Sometimes the sentimental meaning of certain things outweighs their actual value. If something is really dear to you, because, for example, it belongs to your family, then tell your partner about it right away, before it’s too late.
Make a list of what you would like to take for yourself, and ask the other person to do the same.
If you have a common pet, calmly discuss with whom he will stay. An animal’s joint custody is not a good idea, especially when it has to travel from one house to another and get used to new faces. The animal must have one home.
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Think about the future
Some couples decide to stay friends after breaking up. Someone succeeds without problems, while others are eaten by jealousy and anger. Think in advance if you can maintain friendships without regretting the past.
If you have small children, you will have to contact each other for at least several more years until they grow up. Deciding who the kids will stay with can be a stumbling block in a divorce, making things even more difficult. Therefore, try to resolve this issue peacefully.
Take time to heal your wounds.
It’s impossible to say exactly how long it will take for a person to get over a breakup. For some, a few months are enough, and for some, it isn’t easy to recover even after a few years. And the prolonged divorce process only aggravates the situation. After all, this procedure can take a long time, leading to financial and emotional losses.
Give yourself and the other person time to grieve over the failed relationship and calm down before you start dating someone else.
A breakup is a challenging experience, but understanding this event’s cause can ease the pain of loss and avoid future mistakes. See a counselor if you can’t get through the breakup on your own.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker