Own money means security and opportunities.
Why financial independence is so important
Let’s start with the main thing: everyone needs financial independence. Your own money allows you to at least find housing and buy food, as well as satisfy your needs without regard to the desires of others. Dependence on other people’s money is not always painful. Sometimes it is easy and pleasant to live at the expense of someone. But here, too much depends on who owns the money.
Think of yourself as a teenager to understand how this works. You have already formed your own tastes and opinions, but there are no sources of income yet. If your parents are good people, then they listened to your wishes.
Read also: 8 Common Reasons Why Your Salary is Not Growing.
But exactly as long as they did not strongly contradict their opinion. And then: “As long as you live in this house, follow our rules.” Some were less fortunate, and as a result, they walked along the line, dressed in what their parents bought, entered the university of their choice, and so on.
A teenager has other constraints besides material dependence. He often has no choice. An adult has a choice. It is strange if he does not use it and creates situations in which he can be vulnerable.
Why is it especially important for women
Because here, the question is more acute than that of men. It is simply more difficult for a woman to achieve financial independence, and here’s why.
- Employers are more likely to hire employers began to pay less attention to applicants’ marital status, but gender preferences remained. To compete in such a situation, women are forced to settle for less competing with men for jobs, and women settle for below-market wages. On average, they get 30% of Russian women paid 30% less than men in the same positions with the same responsibilities. This is not only in gender stereotypes but also in the concomitant gender circumstances discussed below. They also make women financially vulnerable by themselves.
- Only 2% decide on decreeEvery fiftieth father in Russia takes “maternity” leave fathers, women are more likely to take parental leave. As a result, she loses 60% of her earnings for a year and a half, and then, until the child is three years old, she remains without income at all. Also, during the decreed period, one can seriously “sink” in the career, since in the 21st century, this is a huge period for the development of many industries.
- Traditionally, it is believed that the husband is the breadwinner, and the wife is the keeper of the hearth. Contrary to expectations, this does not mean that the latter sits on the neck of the former. 74.4% work in RussiaLabor force, employment, and unemployment in Russia of women of working age and 80.3% of men – the difference is small. But women are often expected to easily sacrifice their careers for the sake of their husband’s employment. If he is offered a move, they will not stay late at work to have time to cope with household chores. They are the ones who stay at home if the child is sick. All this is reflected in the salary.
- And again, tradition: it is considered unacceptable if a woman in a pair earns more than a man. Often, it is these attitudes that significantly limit career growth. And at various training, women are even persuaded to quit right now because work is not their true purpose and is bad.
What gives financial independence
Your own money is a straw that you spread in places where you might fall. In the Russian mentality, many factors interfere with planning the future, such as “if you think about the bad, it will certainly come true” and “why start a relationship with the idea that it can end, all the more it ends badly.” If bad things happen and you haven’t thought about it, it will be much worse.
Foresight and planning are always appropriate things, although they are designed for crises. No one can guarantee you that life will develop exactly this way, and not otherwise, no matter how much you would like to believe in it.
This is what financial independence gives you.
The ability to end a dangerous relationship
Take any story where a woman was systematically subjected to domestic violence. There will definitely be someone who will make her responsible: “Why didn’t she leave? So you liked it? ” There are many reasons here, and one of them is economic dependence.
The choice between violence and life under a bridge seems obvious only to theorists who say: “I would be in her place!” Let a woman have the skills to provide for herself, and sometimes the child quickly, but she needs to live somewhere and eat something even before that time.
It is usually impossible to calculate the abuser in advance. In the classic scenario, when it comes to beatings, the woman will be shielded from family, friends, and others who can help. But everything – again, as a rule – begins with economic violence, when a woman is deprived of her own money.
Protection in the event of death or injury to a husband
At the working-age, women die 3.5 times less than men. This is because the latter visit a doctor less often for prevention, more often have bad habits Ministry of Health: mortality of men is 3.5 times higher than that of women due to alcoholism, die in road accidents, become victims of murders and accidents.
Accordingly, the loss of a spouse in financial dependence conditions is great grief and a material crisis that can have serious consequences. In this situation, it helps a lot when a woman has a constant source of income. Financial independence will come in handy if the husband is injured.
By the way, stress plays an important role in the high mortality rate of men, and one of its reasons is the need to provide for the entire family and bear sole responsibility for its material well-being. It is possible that reducing this load will extend its days.
A higher standard of living
People in Russia earn little average monthly nominal accrued wages of employees for a full range of organizations as a whole in the Russian Federation’s economy in 1991–2019. However, two average salaries are better than one or a combination of medium and low.
Separately, financial independence improves the quality of life of a particular woman. You can easily buy yourself something because you want, you don’t have to justify every spend. But it is important here that a man also has such an opportunity. The situation when “all mine is mine, all yours is ours” is at least strange. Also, when money is scarce, women often save on themselves.
More harmonious relationships
The average Russian husband is satisfied with all the qualities of his wife, except for the size of her income. He rates her involvement in family affairs, cares, health, and sex at more than four points out of five, but her wife’s earnings satisfaction received only 3.71. Brief results of the Rosstat survey “Family and Fertility.” Over money, Russian couples quarrel most often. Finances become the cause of disagreements in 37% of Family quarrels and violent families.
How to become financially independent
In recent years, there have been great changes in terms of the representation of women. If earlier targeted advertising offered training on the topic “How to inspire a man to a big salary,” now the information business vector has changed. Women are offered to start earning themselves. True, they pack it into tearful stories about husbands playing tanks.
And although such coaches offer not to play with queens but to make money, the meaning of their training is still the same: parasitizing on female neuroses, promises of quick and easy earnings, and attempts to cut down money on this.
In fact, there are no special secrets here. To become financially independent, both sexes need to do the same thing. The process needs to be gender-adjusted only if you have assigned roles traditionally. This is the case when it is much more important to understand why to do this. But just in case, let’s discuss how.
Realize responsibility for your life
Until the age of 18, you were required to investigative Committee of the Russian Federation Article 80. Obligations of parents for the maintenance of minor children support your parents. They were also responsible for your well-being in other aspects. After the age of majority, the shop closes.
In a relationship, responsibilities and financial investments can be divided in different ways. But this is not done by a magic fairy, but by yourself, and you will also be responsible for the consequences.
Therefore, it is worthwhile to grow up and start thinking at least a few steps ahead. So you can protect not only yourself but also your spouse from troubles in crises.
Create an airbag
How to store this money depends on the atmosphere in the family. If you live in perfect harmony, keep them on the card. In an abusive relationship, it is better to have the required amount in cash and store it so that the spouse does not find it. In this case, you can quickly evacuate.
It is quite normal to have personal small savings in a couple. Relationships do not imply a complete merger. You are just two people with common goals who have chosen to be together.
Negotiate the contribution to the family “on the shore.”
The good thing about this time is that you can choose. Here you are a housewife, and a man goes to work and brings a salary. Or – out loud! – and vice versa. Both options are normal; only they should be the result of negotiations to ensure that everyone understands exactly what contribution they make to the family and what their partner brings to it.
Also read: 12 Superstitions for Raising Money That Can Work.
“A caring wife and a real hostess” at the beginning of a relationship is often transformed into “you actually sat on my neck and didn’t hit your finger” at the end. Although it sometimes happens that household chores take up much more time and effort than office work. The working day at least has a beginning and an end.
Accordingly, no matter who is involved in the economy and how the affairs are distributed, you need to understand who does what and how the needs are met. But here, it is important to consider that when one partner demands uncontested sexual services from the other for any reason, including because he does not go to work, this is definitely violence and has nothing to do with the distribution of responsibilities.
It is better not to leave the agreements in words but to secure them with a marriage contract so that later you will remember that your circumstances result from a mutual decision. Please note that Russia’s prenuptial agreement does not work the way you are used to seeing in American films. Study the question carefully.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker