These phrases will help tune the brain for productive work, harmonious relationships with others, and optimistic world perception.
MJ Ryan, a renowned psychology lecturer, and bestselling author, once heard about an unusual way of self-development used by Tibetan monks. The key is to repeat short sayings to yourself to help counteract negative thoughts and unwanted behaviors. The writer liked the idea very much. As a result, she came up with her own mantras and described them in the book “Changing Habits.”
How it works
Do you know why it is so difficult to break bad habits? The fact is that we usually operate on autopilot. Your mind is not involved in the process when you get angry and break down at others, once again postpone an important task or succumb to a pessimistic mood.
The only way to change these behaviors is to learn to be aware of your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Feeling like you’re about to make the wrong move? Stop, think, and force yourself to take a different path. Repeat this pattern over and over. Over time, new neural connections will form in the brain that is responsible for good habits. The same autopilot mechanism will start working for you.
Ryan’s one-line slogans will help bring about this change. An important condition; do not try to use several phrases at once. Find one mantra that suits you and mentally say it at critical moments. Do the exercise until the mantra “enters” your mind. Then grab the next one.
What phrases will help
1. This person is my teacher
Chanting this mantra is a straightforward way to become better and to improve relationships with others. Think of each person as your teacher. If someone makes you angry, it means that he gives you a chance to develop several important qualities at once; kindness, patience, and self-control. You can benefit from any experience. So why waste your nerves?
Concentrate not on other people, but on your own reactions.
2. Anger is seething fear
Remember these words when you feel that you are ready to burst into an angry tirade against acquaintances, friends, colleagues, or relatives. You can better control your emotions by realizing that fears tend to lurk behind your irritation. We are afraid of missing a chance, disappointing others, losing sight of the goal, not achieving what we want, wasting time. Continue this list yourself.
Not understanding the true reasons for his indignation, a person loses self-control, and as a result, only exacerbates the situation. Understand yourself and calmly share your experiences with other people. This approach is much more effective than outbursts of rage.
3. Walk your own way through life
We are told from an early age what we should do. There is nothing wrong with this because the child needs to follow the safety rules. However, as we grow up, there is a side effect: many of us are afraid to follow our desires and continue to be guided by various “shoulds.” We are scared to stand out from the crowd and disappoint others.
Such attitudes are paralyzing, prevent you from accepting challenges, and achieving success. This is why it is so important to remind yourself sometimes, “I have to go my own way.”
4. Only I am responsible for my reactions
Do you often blame other people for your negative emotions? Then this phrase will come in handy. Nobody is responsible for your anger, irritation, sadness. Yes, people sometimes do things that can make you angry. But only you decide how to respond to certain circumstances. Feeling agitated, say a simple mantra, calm down, and then act. Otherwise, you risk losing your composure and doing something destructive.
5. Speak and listen equally
A beneficial mantra that should be remembered more often both at home and at work. If you usually say long monologues during communication, interrupt your interlocutors, and do not let anyone insert a word, be sure to take note of his phrase.
There are two reasons for this. Firstly, your excessive talkativeness probably annoys others. Second, by refusing to listen actively, you are depriving yourself of the chance to learn something important, and you are losing the opportunity to understand other people.
6. Believe in the benevolence of others
It will become easier for you to live and communicate if you learn to see benevolence in others a priori. When we are not comfortable with a person’s behavior, we tend to think that he is purposefully trying to harm us. Such conclusions are rarely true.
As a rule, people are too focused on themselves, so it never occurs to build insidious plans against someone. When you get angry, you draw the wrong conclusions about others’ intentions, thoughts, and character. It can ruin any relationship.
7. Thoughts are broader than “either-or.“
“I can either stay in a job I do not like and earn decent money, or do what I like, but I can hardly make ends meet.” You probably said something like this yourself or heard from friends. The phrase itself creates the feeling that the situation is hopeless. In reality, people often limit themselves to two options, although in reality there are many more.
Learn to think big. You can always think of at least seven ways to solve a problem.
8. Think good
Pessimism is just a habit. The more often you notice bad things and indulge in sad thoughts, the more negative emotions you experience. Want to be happier? Learn to tune your brain to a positive wave. Record all the good things that happen to you. Think about how your life will change when you achieve your goals. Remember, pleasant moments. Believe me, one day; you will turn into a real optimist.
Also read: 9 Things Smart People Never Do
9. When everything is prioritized, nothing is prioritized
In today’s world, the ability to prioritize is incredibly important. You will never have time to answer all calls and letters, respond to all requests, cope with all orders. And if you try, you will lead yourself to overwork and stress, and you will not do any of the tasks as well as possible. The conclusion is simple: do only the most important things, do not be sprayed on trifles. Surely there is something in your diary that you can cross out or put off for later.
10. You need to take the first step
People are delaying their planned activities for various reasons. Sometimes the fear of failure stops us. Sometimes, procrastination is associated with the desire to have a clear plan “from and to”: we fall into a stupor because we cannot calculate the entire sequence of actions, especially if we take on an unfamiliar task. In any case, the solution is one: you need to take the first step. It will lead you to the second and beyond. Recite this mantra and focus as much as possible on where you need to start.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker