We admire people who, in all situations, manage to maintain a calm, peace of mind, and self-control. We call it wisdom and hope to be the same one day. It turns out that a lot depends on avoiding certain behavior patterns that prevent us from being happy and moving forward.
1. They do not allow themselves to spoil their mood
If your self-esteem and mood depend on how you look at others, your happiness is not yours. When smart people rejoice in their success, they don’t let others’ opinions and merit overshadow that joy.
It doesn’t matter what others think or do. This should not in any way affect your opinion of yourself. Whatever point of view others hold about you at the moment, it is always subjective and does not reflect the real state of affairs.
2. They don’t forget
Emotionally literate people easily forgive offenses, but that doesn’t mean they forget about them. Forgiveness means letting go of an unpleasant situation and moving on. But it doesn’t mean that the offender is given a second chance.
Smart people do not want to get bogged down in the consequences of other people’s mistakes, so they first forgive and then take increased measures to protect themselves from similar situations in the future.
3. They do not go with a knife to the tank
Smart people know how important it is to take care of themselves because tomorrow there will be a new day and a new battle. In a conflict situation, we often lose control over emotions and headlong into a fight in which we are deliberately doomed to defeat. Someone who knows how to understand and manage their emotions can assess when to insist on their own and what battles are worth getting involved in.
4. They don’t pursue an ideal
Emotionally mature people do not prioritize the unattainable ideal because they know it does not exist. Striving for absolute perfection, you will always experience frustration. As a result, you will begin to harass yourself that you could not achieve what you wanted and reflect on the topic of what you did wrong. Smart people, instead, rejoice at what they have achieved.
5. They don’t live in the past.
As a rule, failure results from taking risks and trying to achieve something difficult to achieve. Smart people know that success largely depends on the ability to lose and move on. However, this is hardly possible if you continue to cling to old mistakes. When you live in the past, it becomes your present and deprives you of the future.
6. They don’t get hung up on problems
Your emotional state directly depends on what you think about. When you focus entirely on the problems at hand, you sink into negative emotions and stress. Smart and emotionally literate people know to think not about the problems themselves but about ways to solve them.
7. They don’t hang out with whiners
Whine and complain lovers relish their problems endlessly. To feel better, they need compassionate listeners who will feel sorry for them. It’s better to stay away from such people. Otherwise, they will drown you in their negativity.
A good way to stop the flow of whining is to ask how they will deal with their problems. The whiner will either shut up because he will not solve them in any way, or he will finally try to reason constructively.
8. They hold no evil
The negative emotions we experience when we are angry are responses to stress. When an imminent threat looms over us, this behavior is essential to our survival. But when everything is over, the hidden resentment only harms us. Over time, this can even affect health. Holding evil means being in a state of constant stress, and smart people try their best to avoid this.
9. They disagree with what they really don’t want
Many of us have a tough time getting the word no. Meanwhile, this is a potent tool that you need to use safely. By refusing to take on new commitments, you allow yourself to fulfill the existing ones.
Of course, this list does not claim to be complete. But if you can learn to avoid even these destructive behaviors, you will be doing yourself a huge favor.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker