We all heard these remarks more than once and seethed with indignation. And they even pronounced them themselves. Do not do it this way; People have bad control over negative emotions. Anger looks for a way out, and indeed, it finds it. The person seems to have said a simple phrase in a calm tone, and you are angry, sound familiar? This is your reaction to latent aggression.
The essence of this behavior of the opponent is to suppress anger. Irritation is still there but in a socially acceptable form. This is a conflict, albeit latent. At the same time, the interlocutor cannot answer on the merits and feels stupid.
1. “I’m not angry.”
Instead of honestly admitting and explaining their feelings, the person will claim that they are not angry. Although everything is bubbling inside, and this will be expressed in relation.
2. “As you say.”
Sulking and avoiding a direct answer is classic. The interlocutor does not explain what he does not like, does not give arguments. He closes in and pretends to agree. Thus, the door to dialogue is closed.
3. “Yes, I’m already coming!”
For example, try asking your child to clean the room, do homework, or do the dishes. How many times will you need to call him? And in what tone will he say this “I am going” for the tenth time? However, not only do children do this, but also adults if they do not want to do something.
4. “I didn’t know.”
This is a procrastinator’s favorite phrase. If you ask him if he completed the task, the excuse will be standard: “I didn’t know what was needed now.” It becomes clear; the person does not like the request. But he does not talk about it but prefers to postpone it. And it definitely makes him angry.
5. “You want everything to be perfect.”
When the constant postponement no longer works, a person finds another option – to blame the one who gave the task. The student did not have time to do his homework – the teacher is to blame for asking too much. An employee has exceeded the project funds limit – the employer is to blame, demanding great results for such money.
6. “I thought you knew.”
With this phrase, a person expresses latent aggression, relieving himself of responsibility. Usually, petty dirty tricksters or schemers are engaged in this. Not showing the letter, not talking about the call – all of this series. There was a conflict, but it turns out that you should have known about that annoying little thing that became the reason. Didn’t you know? I thought you knew …
7. “Of course, I would be happy to help, but”
Meet the motto of service personnel, telephone operators, and government officials. They can smile at you as much as they want. The more you insist on urgency, the further the issue will be postponed. Up to the point that your papers may end up in the trash can marked “Refuse.” Surely those at least once applied for a visa or at the passport office will understand what this is about.
8. “You did everything so well for a person of your level.”
Such phrases can be classified as dubious compliments. It’s like saying to a fat lady something like, “Don’t worry, you’re still getting married. Some men like chubby ones. ” Usually, such sayings relate to age, education, and weight. They are said by those who want to offend or do not think about your feelings. And bribes from them are smooth; it’s actually a compliment!
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9. “I was just kidding.”
Sarcasm is another way to express your aggression covertly. You can say something nasty and then immediately back down: “Well, I was just joking!” Any sharp answer is easy to turn against again, they say; the interlocutor does not have a sense of humor. Don’t you understand the jokes?
10. “Why are you so upset?”
After a ridiculous joke, your opponent may wonder why you are so upset with mock bewilderment. Thus, he gets an implicit pleasure in the fact that again throws you off balance. If you feel that they are trying to make you angry with such phrases, do not react to them, this is a provocation. There’s no need to feed the trolls.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker