Are you trying to meet other people’s expectations and forget about yourself? Stop it, and your life will be easier.
Often we make life difficult for ourselves and make stress an integral part of it. However, you can change everything; remember what and how not to do, and say goodbye to stress.
1. Set abstract goals
When a goal is formulated vaguely, it is hardly possible to achieve it without specifics and time constraints. You seem to be doing something, but there is no result, only stress. “I want a lot of money” is an example of a failed goal setting. If you break down a global goal into several small ones and prioritize, the chances of success will immediately increase.
“My goal is to earn 100 thousand rubles a month. To achieve it, I have to get promoted. To get a promotion, I need to improve my English to the Upper Intermediate level. I can do it in six months. “
And now, you have a very specific, measurable, achievable, and priority goal – to raise your English level by one level in six months.
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2. Strive for unrealistic goals
The goals must, first of all, be realistic and achievable. Well, you will not master a foreign language perfectly in a week. Remember this. By pushing yourself into a rigid framework, you fail and worry. Be gentle with yourself, and set challenging but doable tasks.
3. Trying to do everything at once
“What matters to me now?” – answer this question and organize your time so that there is always enough for priority tasks. Separate the urgent from the important when it comes to workflow. Don’t forget; chasing two hares at once, you risk not catching one.
4. Strive for perfectionism in everything
The eternal pursuit of excellence and excessive demands on yourself will not add to your happiness. If you can do well, do it. You can do even better – go ahead! But the scrupulous improvement of little things can lead to a nervous breakdown. Know how to stop and feel the moment “I did an excellent job, and I am fully satisfied with the result.”
5. Compare yourself to others
You and other people have different goals, different starting capital, capabilities, and personal qualities. Comparisons often turn into self-pity: “I’m such a loser, not like my colleague.” And much less often they carry in themselves at least some positive: “He could, and I can” or “I already opened my own business at the age of 30, and he still sits on my parents’ neck.”
The only one with whom you have to compare yourself is you in the past. This annoying phrase is not devoid of meaning. Focus on your successes and failures. Find the mistakes that led to the failure and work on them.
You don’t have to be better than your mother’s friend’s son, you have to be better than you were yesterday.
6. Rely only on others
Expecting others to do everything for you or help you in any situation can lead to an unpleasant outcome. It is good when people nearby are ready to drop everything and break off on the first call. But sometimes circumstances are against us. Be prepared to deal with the difficulties yourself not to add unnecessary stress.
7. Live to live up to other people’s expectations
Trying to fulfill your loved ones’ dreams, you are deprived of the opportunity to fulfill yours. But you want to live your life.
8. Trying to please everyone
It is impossible to please everyone. There will certainly be a person (and more than one) who has a different view of the world. And there is nothing wrong with that. Better be glad that among the seven billion completely different people, you have found at least one close to you in spirit.
9. Trying to change the other person
Let others live the way they want. Don’t try to adjust the person to your expectations. You will probably not succeed anyway, you will be upset, and stress will not keep you waiting.
10. Wait for approval of every step you take
Doing only what others approve is to deprive yourself of the opportunity for self-expression and self-realization.
You need to make informed decisions, relying on your goals and needs, even if loved ones think this is not the right step. It is good to listen to advice, but you should not constantly look back at others.
Adapted and translated by Wiki Avenue Staff
Sources: Life hacker